Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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