I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
