I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
