i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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