In the future we'll all be gay
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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