worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
