My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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