She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if only i could text you this smell
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
