I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
