and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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