Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
