addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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