I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
