Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
