i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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