The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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