from now on my penis is your penis
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
