Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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