it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
