I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
