You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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