just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
