why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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