I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
