I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
