it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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