her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
