420 ftw
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
