Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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