dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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