When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize