Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize