Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
