Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you made out with another girl for some wings
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
