There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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