You smell like stripper and shame
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
