I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize