my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
