put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
