So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
