I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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