yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
