Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
