His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
