Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
