I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
and you fell through a lawn chair
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
