No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
