i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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