Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
