Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
