I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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