4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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