are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
