When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
