I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize