i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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