dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
