his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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