Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
