i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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