onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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