Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
