I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
