guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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