Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
