My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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