That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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