He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
