is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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